starsdontfall's Xanga

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 23:44:30 GMT

Meet my new puppy.

She is a white female purebred dachshund weiner dog, with the biggest, flappiest ears you'll ever see your whole life.

So cute.

Hello. My name is Tofu. Aren't I very pretty? Check out my awesome mole on my right paw. This old lady wanted to name me sausage or vienna, this hyper kid wanted to name me princess or daisy, and this other girl who's in SD right now wanted to name me Mozzarella, but in the end my Mum won and named me Tofu. Because I grow longer each and every day, and it reminded her of korean soondubu.

My mum bought me lots of toys because I love to chew.

I love to play. Please come visit me. I'm not old enough to go outside yet, so it'd be really fun for me if you came to visit me in the safety of my home. Please come play with me. I love to play. I love my toys, too.

Seriously.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 04:39:52 GMT

JULIA'S GETTING A DOG! JULIA'S GETTING A DOG! THE CUTEST, LOVELIEST DOG YOU'D EVER SEE! I'M GONNA TRAIN IT SO WELL AND LOVE IT SOOO MUCH! JULIA'S GETTING A DOG!

AND I INVITE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO COME OVER AND PLAY WITH MY NEW DOG!

THANK YOU GOD! YOU ROCK! THANK YOU FOR MY NEW DOG!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 15:56:45 GMT

If someone, anyone, would have said 'Hi, how are you?' instead of snickering at him, things might have been different.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 16:41:05 GMT

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 16:49:38 GMT

A butcher, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer.

"That's a good price, but it really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?"

Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again.

"This one," he said faintly, " will be $6.65."

The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision...

"You know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"

Be honest

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 04:54:53 GMT

There is a lone and abandoned ant on the bathroom floor... I killed all of its comrades a few hours ago, but it seems to have been the only survivor. Now it is panicking and running around in circles... Poor thing. Perhaps I should put it out of its misery and loneliness.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 18:58:19 GMT

I just found out shrmip-kkang has MSG! Nooooo!!!

I nearly poisoned someone at work the other day

But I totally made up for it today by working really hard! I think! Yay!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:03:48 GMT

1. Post Office just recalled their newest stamps:
They had pictures of IRS agents on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

2. How are an apple and a I.R.S. agent alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.

3. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only
save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?

4. What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of I.R.S. agents do?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

5. What do you call 25 I.R.S. agents buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.

6. What do you call 25 skydiving I.R.S. agents?
Skeet.

7. What do you throw to a drowning I.R.S. agent?
His co-workers.

8. What's brown and looks really good on an I.R.S. agent?
A Doberman.

9. What's the difference between an I.R.S. agent and a mosquito?
One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 23:26:02 GMT

I'm officially addicted to coffee

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 02:41:04 GMT

SAN DIEGO HERE I COME!!!!! (yet again)